The Introvert

Poem by Dania Bajwa

i’m honoured, really
that research has dedicated
its resources and curiosities
to my people
my breed
trying to uncover the mysteries
of our existence
the peculiar ways in which we
subsist
in a world that strays so far from our
natural habitat

i’m honoured that my kind
can serve as a specimen
under examination
to advance human insights
and perhaps finally solidify
the theory behind this condition
that so many patients like me
suffer from

but i am not a victim
nor another case adding to the total count
nor a piece of biology intriguing enough to study
i scream it to the world
but nothing but my silence
echoes around me
if you listen closely enough though
i swear
you’ll hear it
in a crisp tone
unapologetic
enunciating all the right words
you’ll hear me

because though radiating from me
may be nothing short of
emptiness
i am not but a mass of vacancy
i promise
it’s just that
sometimes my voice becomes
reluctant to be the gateway
between my imagination and expression
and i find myself gasping for air
as i try to bridge this insurmountable gap
you just don’t hear it, do you?
the gasps
the walls of doubt i am knocking over
one by one
you don’t

but trust me when i say
my silence speaks volumes
so just hear me out